Seventeenth Unused Utility Belt | Spam and text

[hellofist]

[Open Spam]
[Cass inhabiting the CTS isn't a new Barge occurrence, but it's not typical for her to go in looking upset and come out still... really looking upset. But here she is, sitting on the floor outside the CTS to catch her breath and wait for her legs to start working again because it's been a few hours now of nothing but punching and kicking and pushing herself so she wouldn't feel anything, but it's not really doing the job this time around.

So yeah, she's kind of brooding outside the CTS like any good Bat does after an upsetting day.]


[Private text to Dean]
Out.


[Spam for Merlin]
[She goes back into the CTS after her break, but it's still not enough. In the end she's just on her knees punching the floor until her hands are bleeding and that helps, finally. Only took her hours to get there. Finally she leaves the CTS and makes her way back home to wait for Merlin. He can fix her, her hands and her heart.

It's a bit surprising, though, that she runs into him in the hallway, him approaching the door from the other direction. Even after everything, she's able to smile when she sees him.]

Was just... gonna find you. Hi.

Comments

Spam

[takeyouapart]

[He follows her in, closing the door behind them.]

...maybe. But I understand why you do.

[Because she's a good person. Because she understands redemption. Because in spite of everything there's some part of her that wants to give him the chance to be the father she deserves. And as much as Merlin wishes she would just give up on him, deny him the chance to hurt her over and over again like this...she wouldn't be the Cassandra he knows and loves if she did.

He takes her hands gently, cupping his palms under hers.]

Ic haele thina throwunga.

[His eyes glow for that brief moment, and he watches as the split skin closes and the bruises fade.]

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[ichoosefight]

[ Steph holds her close, gently rubbing her back without really even thinking about it. It sucks that Cass has to deal with this. She wishes she could take it all away. At least for now she can be there for her friend. What happens when she and Kon leave? ]

[ Private : Voice ]

[hellofist]

[The tone paired with how long that took and the fact that it's Dean have her worried almost immediately.]

Why? What happened?

[ Private : Voice ]

[surfaceshine]

[That's why he's sorry, mostly, and because he knows this isn't what he wants for her. In fact this was kind of the exact opposite of what he was trying for, and he doesn't even know if it was worth it yet.

Oh well. Better she finds out about it from him than from somewhere else.]

Cain and I... got into a fight.

[Spam]

[hellofist]

[It's possible she'll never get used to people who are so nice, who will go out of their way to try and make people feel better. But then again, this is Jesse. It's not surprising in him since it makes up so much of who he is.

She pushes herself up to her feet and heads over toward him.]

Would like that. Promise not... to crash it.

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[hellofist]

[She watches her hands heal too, wishing it was this easy to fix everything that's broken with this situation.]

He... was talking about me. On the network. Called me kid, acted like... good father, made daughter snacks.

[Her eyes are going blurry now, the outline of their hands swimming in her vision. She hasn't cried yet but it looks like that might be coming up soon.]

I couldn't let him. Couldn't let... him pretend that. Won't let him hide... from what he did.

spam;

[hellofist]

Bad day.

[Kind of an understatement, but what can you do. She rests her chin on her drawn up knees, looking up at him and reading him to see what's there, who he is.]

What do you think... of the Barge?

Spam

[hellofist]

[It's something Cass tries desperately not to think of, Steph's inevitable departure. She has people here, a support network and people who will help her when she's sad, but there's only one Stephanie. Losing her again isn't something Cass is sure she can cope with.]

Did you... see it all?

Re: Spam

[takeyouapart]

No. You shouldn't.

[He pulls her into a hug carefully, wraps his arms around her.]

I just wish it didn't hurt you so much.

[ Private : Voice ]

[hellofist]

What?

[She's terrified at first because she knows her father. Dean is a good fighter, surprisingly good for a human with no powers other than a superhuman ability to just keep pushing himself until there's nothing left, but Cain is an assassin.

But Dean is talking now, obviously not dead. The fear fades slowly and all that's left is anger. Not at Dean. At her father, for hurting someone so important to her.]

Where are you? Infirmary?

[ Private : Voice ]

[surfaceshine]

[Dean flinches on his end, sighs quietly. He didn't want this. He just hadn't been able to keep his mouth shut once he started.]

Yeah. For a little bit longer, anyway. I'm okay, sweetheart, I just didn't want you hearing from someone else.

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[hellofist]

[Merlin's hug is careful, but Cass' arms go around him so she can hug him tightly and bury her face against his shoulder.]

I didn't- even have a name, until Barbara. Fathers give names. He wasn't- he was trainer, I thought. Thought he took me. Took me from... family that loved me, maybe.

[She knows the truth now, that that would never be something she would have ever had, but for so long she had hoped that somewhere out there were parents who had wanted just a daughter, not a killer.]

[bodilesswarrior]

[Barbara knows, by now, that Cass is okay, but they haven't spoken face to face. It's both a shock and a relief to see her sitting in the hall, and her chair speeds up with barely a thought.]

Cass!

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[ichoosefight]

[ She shakes her head. ]

No. I didn't want to. [ Even beyond just the way it hurts Cass, it reminds her of her own paternal issues. She just can't deal with Cain. ]

Spam

[takeyouapart]

[He hugs back just as tight and kisses the top of her head.]

You found one for yourself. I will always be in awe of the strength that took, Cass.

[ Private : Video ]

[hellofist]

[She switches to video now and expects him to do the same. She wants to see what Cain has done.]

What happened? Why did... you fight?

[ Private : Video ]

[surfaceshine]

We were talking. [About you.] And I uh... lost my temper. Told him he couldn't have any more alcohol until he stopped whining. [It still makes him angry, warming his voice; called him a deadbeat jerkoff asshole. Piled his own father's sins onto the plate too, because why not.]

Guess he didn't like that. Honestly, I'm surprised it took us this long to start throwing punches.

[There's another long hesitation; for anyone else, he wouldn't switch. He doesn't want to, for her sake, but it's not fair. It's not fair to make her worry and it's not fair to take away one of her senses because he's a chickenshit asshole.

So he swaps to video, too, and lets her see what honestly looks a lot worse than it actually is. He drops the icepack down to his lap, sucks at the back of his teeth: Cain concentrated on his face, broke his nose, elbowed him in the jaw. None of it's serious, he's had worse, but the bruising and the swelling has set in, along with the pounding, concussive headache.]

[SPAM]

[theantiaya]

[It was a partial explanation. Not the entire story. And certainly not satisfactory to Aya's standards.]

A foolishly sentimental notion.

By allowing others the opportunity to take from you, you risk the loss of further self improvement.

Spam

[hellofist]

[It wasn't that long ago that she was the one holding him when he was upset about his own father, so it seems like things have come full circle now.

And he's right, she does have a family now, a good one. Parts of it are gone, with Bruce leaving and the knowledge that Stephanie's days here are numbered. But she has Merlin and Arthur and Dean, Barbara is still here and Chris might become her brother someday. She has support here, the things Cain isn't capable of giving her.

But she still wants him to. She still wants a family with him as part of it and she knows, she knows that will never be possible. It's then that her shoulders begin to shake and the tears finally come, bitter and painful sobs because she feels anything but strong right now.]

[hellofist]

[Right now, physically, Cass is fine. The rest of her isn't at all, but Barbara knows that already. She has to, she saw the conversation with Cain.

Cass doesn't say anything, just gets up onto her knees and reaches for Barbara when she's close enough so she can hug her, face pressed into her stomach. This has become such a familiar posture for them, but it's as close as Cass can get and it always feels good. It always helps.]

Spam

[hellofist]

Good.

[It's probably best she doesn't know. It hits hard for both of them, Cass knows that. With an unhappy sigh, she pulls back so she's not crowding Steph quite so much.]

Just want him... to graduate, leave. Shouldn't keep... talking to him.

[ Private : Video ]

[hellofist]

[It's not actually as bad as she expected, now that she can see him. There's not much of an expression to her face, she just stares at him and looks at every bruises and the break and commits every injury to memory.]

Have someone there... to take care of you? Not just... infirmary people?

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[takeyouapart]

[He doesn't try to shush her, doesn't say anything; some things need to be bled out before the pain stops. He just kisses her again and puts one hand in her hair, rubbing the other across her quaking shoulders and wishing he could just hide her away from all this, that he could strip the hurt from her because there's already been far too much.]

[ Private : Video ]

[surfaceshine]

[That puzzles Dean, too, honestly but he thinks he knows how to explain it and it pisses him off. Not as much as the other thing, not as much as their conversation, but still. He shifts the icepack in his hand without looking up, chewing the inside of his lip carefully, before raising it back to his jaw again.

He glances up at the screen, meets her eyes steadily back.]

I'm gonna go find Felix when I'm done here. I need to check on 'im anyway - he ah. Might've saved me the trouble of another deathtoll, maybe.

Cain's in surgery, but he shouldn't die. As soon as he's stable he's going down to Zero.

[The melting ice in the pack shifts, clinking together in brittle, soft breaks as he adjusts his grip.]

I'm sorry.

[SPAM]

[hellofist]

Not about improving. About... release.

[She didn't get it all out yet though, there's still so much anger and sadness, but she needed to stop for a little bit. She has to pace herself, she intends to be at this for another couple of hours at least.]