Ninteenth Unused Utility Belt | Video, backdated to after the breach ends (cw: fire damage)

[hellofist]

[The feed comes on to show Cass... well, she kind of looks like crap. But more than that, behind her her room, her real room on the Barge, seems to be confused about what it wants to be. In some places it's a replication of what Merlin's room looks like - there's his bed in one corner, a large wooden table with a red rose in a pot, for example.

Other parts are what the inside of a burned down building would look like. There's smoke damage, blackened walls, the remains of a dresser. The big computer is halfway melted and warped, the screen cracked and beyond repair. Looks like the Barge couldn't recreate what home is for Cass because she doesn't even know herself anymore.]

I'm back.

[There's not... that much to say after that, really. She's back, yay, no she doesn't want to talk about it.]

It was... about a week? I think. Learned... lots of things. About me, about... what I'm for. Why I... was made. It's funny, how you can... be so sure, who you are, but be... completely wrong.

Anyway. Back.


[Private to Merlin]
Are you... working? Or in room?


[Private to Dean, Chris, and Cassel, sent separately]
Have... to give you something. Can I come over?


[Private to Stephanie]
I understand, now. Why... I'm not Batgirl. Why you are. I didn't really, before. But... I'm glad you are.


[Private to Kon]
[After far too long passes with no answer to Steph, Kon gets a slightly panicked message from Cass.]

Where is Stephanie?


[Private to Dick Grayson and Tim Drake]
I know... that you won't see this. You can't. I just miss you. I shouldn't, but I wish... you were here.

Comments

[mistconduct]

Fuck. Sounds like my life.


You want to talk about it?

Re: SPAM

[takeyouapart]

[He withdraws just enough to meet her eyes, so she can read him, so she'll know he isn't lying to reassure her.]

I am. I am now. I'm - worried, about you, but...I'm alright. [He smiles wanly.] I missed you.

spam

[hellofist]

[That's the thing with Cass, he doesn't say it but he might as well have. She sees it all and it makes her want to hug him, fix this, she even takes half a step forward before she stops herself.]

You aren't. [Weren't? She doesn't want to switch tenses yet, he still feels like hers, part of her.] I'm sorry I left you.

[ Spam ]

[hellofist]

[Once it's in his hand, she lets go. Not fast, like it burns her or like she can't handle holding it, she's just... ready to let go, now.]

I'm not that anymore.

[hellofist]

Maybe later. Right now...

[Finally she lets go, holding out the bundle of black fabric now. It's her cape, all folded up for easy carrying.]

Want you... to keep this, for me.

SPAM

[hellofist]

[She reaches up to touch his face, thumb rubbing against his cheekbone. How could she forget him, when he means... everything, to her? How long will it take that guilt to fade?]

I missed you. I'm just... glad Barge gave memories back.

[mistconduct]

[Blinking, Chris looks down at the black fabric, frowning]

You're giving me your cape? Dude, why?

video;

[notdreaming]

[ This is kind of a disturbing thing to see when you've just arrived and not gotten used to the weirdness of the barge. Though from her own history she's hesitant to ask about it. Although, her own room was in perfect condition, as though Argo had never been blown from the surface of the planet into the orbit of a dying star. ]

What, um...

[ Nope she is not quite comfortable asking. ]

Where did you go?

spam

[patheticvillain]

Yes, I was.

[He will put it in the past, where it belongs. But then she steps toward him, and he doesn't know what he's feeling at all besides confused. They were so close, in that other world, she was someone he could rely on without question, and she held him when he was sad or scared or hurt, and he never ever thought she'd use him.]

[It's this and the step forward that pull him out of the chair and tug him towards her, awkwardly. He is learning to want to be close, but it's not natural yet. He moves like a frightened animal, watching her carefully.]

It . . . wasn't your fault. [He's still angry. But it really wasn't her fault.]

SPAM

[takeyouapart]

So am I. I - I wouldn't have wanted what happened to me to happen to you too.

[He cups his hand over hers, strokes his fingertips lightly over her knuckles.]

Do - you want to come in? I know there are so many people you must need to talk to.

[So many people who love her, and he's glad of every single one of them.]

SPAM

[hellofist]

Later. Want to be here. Need to be.

[She doesn't think she can make herself leave now, not yet. Part of her aches because it's only been a week, a little more maybe, but it feels so much longer. It feels like lifetimes. She hugs him again, holding him tightly.]

Everything changed, Merlin. Everything... is gone. So glad this isn't. I love you.

private; video

[fridgetothefire]

[Softly.]

Why somebody else made you doesn't need to have anything to do with what you're for.

SPAM

[takeyouapart]

I love you too. I love you, Cassandra.

[It isn't as if he's really been able to deny her anything for a long time and he just holds her, hand rubbing across her back gently.

They're just like that for a while, quiet and still and together, but eventually he has to say it.]

If you want to talk about it...

[He wants to hear it, of course he does, he wants to know - but if it's still too much and too raw, he'll understand. Even if it never stops being that way.]

[ Spam ]

[surfaceshine]

[He knows how important being Batgirl is to her; she hasn't ever expressly told him so, or why, but he saw her with the other Batfamily, saw how comfortably she wore it. He'll never understand it - he's just Dean, he's always been just Dean and always will be just Dean - but he knew Dick, too.

He fingers the material of the cowl and shakes his head, arm tightening around her.] What happened?

[hellofist]

I don't need it. Moving on. But... it's still important. You should have it. Something to... remember me by.

Besides, would look good in cape.

video;

[hellofist]

Bludhaven? It was home, before Barge.

[And you... look very familiar.]

Must have... missed you coming here. I'm Cassandra.

video;

[notdreaming]

I arrived during a, um, breach? [ That's what she was told it's called anyway. ]

I'm Kara Zor-El. It's nice to meet you, Cassandra.

Bludhaven, is that on Earth?

private; video

[hellofist]

[It'll never stop being amazing, the way Anya's voice just makes Cass feel better. And she almost believes her when she says that, too.]

It does, though. Sometimes.

spam

[hellofist]

No. Feels like it, though.

[As much as she wants to just put her arms around him, she waits. This can't be forced, if she tries to rush him it might ruin everything.]

You really weren't, Cassel. Maybe did dumb things, but your heart... was in right place. Still is.

private; video

[fridgetothefire]

[She doesn't say anything like only if you let them, because that's bullshit.]

Yeah, sometimes. But it doesn't have to.

I don't know what you've learned or what happened, but that person you knew you were before? I'm pretty sure she's still real.

spam

[patheticvillain]

Doesn't feel like it.

[He lashes out. He's angry. He wants to hurt people. He's vicious, and he only trusts people who've proven themselves trustworthy. His heart isn't in the right place at all.]

[But it's nice that she thinks it is.]

[He shifts his weight from one foot to the other.]

Are you - upset that Loki's gone? [Now it'll be clear to her that he's hiding something. He's not even trying that hard to hide it.]

[mistconduct]

Wait. Wait, something to remember you by? What the fuck, Cass? I have you to remember you by!

SPAM

[hellofist]

[She doesn't at all, but she needs to. He needs to know and she doesn't want him to worry about what ifs.]

We should sit.

[ Spam ]

[hellofist]

Everything.

[That's not enlightening at all, but it's very true.]

I have... brothers and sisters. He made more. One of them... Mad Dog, they called him. He broke, inside. His mind, it wasn't right. He... killed me.

SPAM

[takeyouapart]

...Alright.

[He steps back, reluctantly, to let her into his cabin - to the table near the back of the room where they've sat together dozens of times before, eating breakfast, drinking tea, talking about nothing much. It's a small pool of normality to offer in a world that seems much changed, for her.]