Ninteenth Unused Utility Belt | Video, backdated to after the breach ends (cw: fire damage)

[hellofist]

[The feed comes on to show Cass... well, she kind of looks like crap. But more than that, behind her her room, her real room on the Barge, seems to be confused about what it wants to be. In some places it's a replication of what Merlin's room looks like - there's his bed in one corner, a large wooden table with a red rose in a pot, for example.

Other parts are what the inside of a burned down building would look like. There's smoke damage, blackened walls, the remains of a dresser. The big computer is halfway melted and warped, the screen cracked and beyond repair. Looks like the Barge couldn't recreate what home is for Cass because she doesn't even know herself anymore.]

I'm back.

[There's not... that much to say after that, really. She's back, yay, no she doesn't want to talk about it.]

It was... about a week? I think. Learned... lots of things. About me, about... what I'm for. Why I... was made. It's funny, how you can... be so sure, who you are, but be... completely wrong.

Anyway. Back.


[Private to Merlin]
Are you... working? Or in room?


[Private to Dean, Chris, and Cassel, sent separately]
Have... to give you something. Can I come over?


[Private to Stephanie]
I understand, now. Why... I'm not Batgirl. Why you are. I didn't really, before. But... I'm glad you are.


[Private to Kon]
[After far too long passes with no answer to Steph, Kon gets a slightly panicked message from Cass.]

Where is Stephanie?


[Private to Dick Grayson and Tim Drake]
I know... that you won't see this. You can't. I just miss you. I shouldn't, but I wish... you were here.

Comments

video;

[hellofist]

[Well that would explain it. She knew Kara before when she was here, a little bit. Not well, they had only spoken a few times, but it's nice to not immediate be asked why she had tried to kill Kara before. She hadn't had an answer then, doesn't have one now, but at least it's not a question this time around.]

Yes. Near Gotham. I, um... know Superman.

private; video

[hellofist]

[Cass considers that for a moment, and then nods. It's true enough, she still feels like the person who was on the Barge before, just... a little different, now. Maybe in bad ways, maybe in okay ones, but there's enough of what she was before to keep her from losing herself completely.

Her head feels fuzzy, though. Dying sucks.]

I missed you. You always... talk sense.

video;

[notdreaming]

Gotham. [ She frowns, examining the word in her mind. It sounds familiar in the same way that Bludhaven sounds familiar. ]

Is that near New York? I'm sorry, I really don't know Earth geography very well.

private; video

[fridgetothefire]

[Anya gives a small, choking laugh. She feels so nuts, some of the time, she feels things so strongly and usually ten different ways at once. But maybe that makes it easier to sort through other people's, sometimes.]

I try.

Did you know, you were the person who taught me how to forgive people? I'd never really done it before then.

[No one who hurt her before that had really cared, or wanted to make any piece of it better. Except Castiel, maybe, and he sounded too like her father when they met for Anya to manage it for him.]

[silvestris]

Welcome back. I almost thought there'd be a parade ready for you.

SPAM

[hellofist]

[She stays right with him, close and secure, and her shoulders start to relax once she's inside, seeing this, feeling the comfort of this room again. She's safe here, Merlin is safe here. She sits with him, as close as she can be.]

Went looking for her, for Shiva. Learned... Ra's al Ghul, leader of assassins, wanted... assassins to start young. So they... would always protect, blindly, their master. There were... many, before me. Brothers and sisters. They all... failed. It was too much.

So, Cain and Shiva... had me. Was supposed to be... the One Who is All.

[She shakes her head, because how stupid is that title. Stupid and heavy, she still feels the weight of it after having it sit on her shoulders even for a day.]

When I found her... she had students. Was ready to fight them, but... they bowed. She expected me... to train them, with her. Help her. To... join her.

[Private]

[wedonot]

I completely understand if the answer is no, but if you want to talk, you know I'm more than happy to listen.

private

[velocette]

About every seven years you've pretty much got a new body you're in, and your brain never stops developing. You think you get to a point where you're who you are, but then you age and the world's different again.

So who do you like better? Person you were, or the person you came back as?

Re: SPAM

[takeyouapart]

[Bowed. He thinks of Finna, bowing to him, calling him the geat Emrys. But she expected something great of him, something noble.

He wraps his arm loosely around Cass' shoulders, not drawing her in but just making sure his presence is felt. He wants her to know he's here for her.]

What happened?

[He doesn't need to ask whether she refused that sort of an offer.]

Re: Private Video

[bodilesswarrior]

Maybe. All actions have consequences we don't see. [She's in the hall now.]
We can't blame ourselves for not knowing everything. [And her fleeting smile is a rueful one, because she knows she knows glass just shattered somewhere. But it's always easier to tell other people, isn't it?]

You did what you thought was best, and right. That's all we can ever do.

Private.

[an_abomination]

[Kon came across her entry a good hour ago, but he needed more time to decide what he wanted to say to her.]

Hey, Cass. Welcome back! We all missed you a lot. Where are you? [Hopes that's not her room...]

spam

[hellofist]

[All of those things don't make a bad person, just a person who still has a few more things to learn. And really, she isn't that different. She gets mad, she hurts, she killed her mother and it still feels like that was only a few hours ago, thanks to the timing of the breach.]

I'm... upset I didn't do more. He was... bad, here. Hurt people, people I love. Glad they're safe now, but... wish he was here, still. Don't think it's better... with him gone, back in his world. He'll hurt there, and it's... partly my fault.

[There's no self-pity there, she doesn't expect sympathy from him, it's just honestly how she looks at it. He was better off here, where she could rein him in, than causing mayhem in his world.]

[hellofist]

[She frowns, reaching out for his shoulder.]

Don't mean permanently. Mean, if I... have to go again. Will always come back, though. I don't... want to leave you, here. I'll be here if you're here.

[mistconduct]

...For real?

[So soon after the disappearance of Stephanie Brown, this hits hard for Chris, who's terrified of everyone he likes running off once they get their deals, leaving him stuck on the Barge]

You won't just...forget me. Because some of us, we can't leave.

[hellofist]

You're family.

[That answers all of his questions at once, to Cass. How can she leave him, forget him, when he's family?]

[mistconduct]

[With a choked laugh, Chris drops down onto his bed, still hugging Cass]

Fuck. I guess we are.

video;

[hellofist]

Uh... don't either, so not sure.

[What a pair.]

It's okay, though. We're here, now. Not Earth.

private; video

[hellofist]

Anya...

[Initially she'd reached out from her bedroom because she hadn't wanted to see anyone, not if she could help it. She wanted time to be alone, but it doesn't work that way here. There are too many people she cares about, she should have made her broadcast from somewhere public so they could come to her.]

Where are you? Want to see you.

[hellofist]

Glad there's not. Not really... in parade mood.

[Private]

[hellofist]

It's all... still fresh. Feels like it was... hours ago, because of breach. Not ready.

... Thank you, though.

private

[hellofist]

[That question hurts more than Cass really expected a question could hurt, but it's not a bad question. It's just very hard to think about.]

Person before.

Private.

[hellofist]

[He doesn't answer her question and the time has only given her time to worry, to guess. No one has mentioned her yet, but if Steph was still here she would have said something. Someone would have told her. She's guessed, she just hopes so much that she's wrong.]

My room. You're... avoiding answer.

spam

[patheticvillain]

[He stills, listening. Cass is worried about everyone back in Loki's world. It's kind of weird, because Cassel's been thinking on a larger scale lately, and . . . he doesn't know what to do about it, other than carry guilt, like she's doing. He doesn't want to.]

[Here and now, though, he looks away, then back, and makes a decision.]

He wanted me to hurt you. But I . . . didn't want to.

spam

[tolaywaste]

[He smiles at her - not a particularly strong smile, but he's glad to see her face to face.]

Not much. [Oliver's gone, but he doesn't want to worry her with that right now. There's time, now she's back.] Just missed a breach, though. Or were you here for that?

SPAM

[hellofist]

We fought. When I asked her... if she was my mother, she-

[She stops there, takes a shuddering breath and holds it for a second to try to keep herself calm.]

Mocked me. Asked... if I felt loved, while she... tried to kill me. She was pushing me, making me... angry, so I'd fight harder. There's a man, back home, with ice powers. He froze me, when I'd... almost beat her. Was stuck, then. Had to listen to their plans.

Ra's Al Ghul's daughter was there. She wanted... me to join her, too. Killed her father, wanted to... take his work, take me. Said Batman kept me dumb, to... keep me a tool. Said she'd teach me, show me everything. Just had to... join her. Kill people. Said no. Ended up getting away, with students, but they... all died. Were killed, by Mad Dog.

He kept saying... he saw me, like I see. Called me sister, said he'd kill me. Tried to protect someone, jumped in front. He... got me. Here.

[She presses her hand to her chest, right over where he ran her through.]

Last thing I saw... was Shiva.