First Unused Utility Belt | Video

[hellofist]

[When the video feed comes on, it looks like everything is upside down. Only Cassandra's neck and chin are visible at first, showing a lopsided frown as she fumbles with the communicator, nearly drops it, and then finally turns it upside down. Now the view is her face right side up, and she grins into the camera before a paning shot shows she is hanging upside down from a tree in the CES.]

Crunches. Upside down. 500. Bored.

[She could have done this in the gym, yes, but there are less people here usually. Besides-]

Climbed the tree. Always wanted... to try. Bats are upside down. Funny, because [She puts her hand on her chest here.] Batgirl. Warden.

[And then she waves.] Hi.

Comments

Private

[peektuttut]

[ Of course she can tell. She was always better than him at this, and it's stupid to think that a few years would just magically make him able to hide it. She already knows, but now he can soften it. So he smiles wanly. ]

Not good. I don't think I should tell you.

[ He'd said that to every single one of them, but someone else always decided to make a different call. Some leader he was. ]

Re: Private

[hellofist]

[There's a heavy, heavy sigh before she flips down onto the ground, then just sits in the grass. This is going to be bad.]

Brenda? Zero?

[Please, don't let them be gone. They were something that was just Cassandra and had nothing to do with Batgirl. They were important. If everything else is wrong, please just let them be okay.]

Private

[peektuttut]

[ Not fair, he thinks, and tells himself not to let it show. Don't go stiff, but don't sag, don't let her know. ]

I don't know. [ Only he does, in the same way he knows that Dana and his 'Uncle Eddie' were gone. They'd been in Bludhaven. There was no way they'd gotten out before Chemo was dropped. And there had been so few survivors. He tries to keep that away, too, to hold himself normally, to think about his heart beat and how steady it is. It's easier than it used to be. ]

Private

[hellofist]

[He's protecting her. Whatever it is, he doesn't think she can handle knowing. And maybe she can't, but she doesn't like being treated like a baby.]

Stop lying.

Private

[peektuttut]

[Damn it. He should at least do this in person, that would be the right thing to do. But can't he be a coward, just this once? Tim runs a hand over his face, and tries to imagine Alfred looking at him disapprovingly. No; this was Cass. ]

Just hang on, I'm coming up to the CES.

Private

[hellofist]

Fine. Waiting.

[It's probably good, him coming to her. She doesn't want to say anything else now, so she just turns the comm off and tosses it into the grass.

When Tim arrives, he'll find her ripping blades of grass up one by one, still sitting on the ground and frowning at it like it's the cause of all her sudden worry.]

Private

[peektuttut]

[ There's still a cowardly little voice in his head that tells him to turn around immediately when he sees her, but he doesn't. He squares his shoulders and keeps walking, standing for a moment before sitting down across from her, legs crossing. He rests his hands on his knees, stares at the grass for a moment, before he decides to stop being a loser and just tell her. She probably already suspects it. So he makes himself look up, hold her gaze. ]

They're gone. There was...an event. A lot of people died. I'm sorry.

Private

[hellofist]

[His body is practically screaming at her, sadness and pity and he's sorry and there's a lot. No more lies now, though, it's all there, he's letting her see everything she needs.]

An event. What?

[Almost everything, at least. She wants to know, she has to know what she abandoned her city, her friends, to. What she left them alone to suffer because she couldn't save them.]

Private

[peektuttut]

[ He shakes his head. ]

Nothing you could have stopped.

[ That, he knows. He doesn't even have to read it in her to know, because it's what he felt every day for longer than he wants to recognize. If he had been there, what could he have done, maybe he could have gotten people out. But he knows now, at least logically, that if he had been there - if she had been there - they would have died. ]

Private

[hellofist]

Should have been there. My city. Could have done... something.

[She'd have died trying to save the city and she'd have been happy to do it. Yes, Bruce and Barbara worked on that, got the whole sacrifice thing toned down, but for Bludhaven? For Brenda and Zero? Some things are more important.

Were. It's all a were now. Cass slumps forward and grinds the heels of her hands into her eyes.]

Is Batman... mad?

Private

[peektuttut]

No. God, no. [ He lifts his hand, hesitates for half a second before he settles it on her shoulder. ] Of course he isn't, Cass. None of it was your fault.

Private

[hellofist]

[She leans into his hand heavily, because it was his city too. He was there, too. They'd been there, against the Penguin, together. He has to understand how much this hurts.]

So many people... Why? Who did it?

[She looks up at him again and there are tears in her eyes.]

Have to know.

Private

[peektuttut]

[God, she was crying, and she didn't even know half of it, and there was so much--

Tim leaned forward, shifting his hand to wrap around her shoulders and hug her. He couldn't decide if it was cowardly to not look her in the eye for this, or if it was better to offer some real support for once. He was so terrible at that. ]

Slade. Chemo was - Chemo was dropped on the city.

Private

[hellofist]

[The hug helps. She crawls closer, leans into him and presses her face against his chest. There aren't many tears, but they're there and confusing and right now she would rather he didn't see her crying.]

Slade? Why? [And then she remembers, one of the last things she did before leaving Bludhaven was mortally wound Ravager.] Was it revenge? For his daughter? I didn't... kill her. Why did he...

Private

[peektuttut]

[ In that, at least, they've been alike before. Tim's all about privacy when he's hurting. He holds her, but loosely, because he hates feeling penned in, but likes having the affirmation of support. So that's what he gives her while he shakes his head over hers. ]

No, no, it was so much bigger than just him. He was responsible directly, but there were so many bad guys behind it. They were trying to wreck us, for good. And they didn't care who stood in the way.

Private

[hellofist]

Did it work?

[It couldn't have. Could it? It's hard to believe that even something like leveling an entire city would stop them. She hopes so much it only made them push harder. Tim isn't pulling away, so she stays where she is, curled against his chest with her head ducked down, trying to will her tears to stop.]

Can... dead people come here?

[Is there a chance she might see them again?]

Private

[peektuttut]

No. It didn't work. [But everything had come so close to falling apart. He missed the days before, when things made sense. When he didn't have to hold his breath every time the phone rang, didn't have to hope - he'd stopped praying so long ago - that he wasn't about to hear that one of his friends had died.] We got through it.

[He nodded over her head, and started rubbing her back in little circles; mostly because Dick had done it to him, before, when he was overwhelmed by the latest horror the Barge had turned him into.]

They can. Who knows, they might show up as wardens. You never know.

[But it's an empty platitude, so he pauses, and says,] That's Dick's deal. To save Bludhaven.

Private

[hellofist]

[She can cling to those good things. They can give her hope and strength and she can push on. She needs to, to honor the memories of everyone who died.]

Brenda would be good. At wardening. Took care of me.

[And then he goes and says that and Cass pulls back fast, eyes wide and hopeful.]

Save it? How? Will it come back?

Private

[peektuttut]

[He shifts his hands to her shoulders so she can move, and a small smile starts in the corner of his mouth.]

Yeah, I think so. When he graduates an inmate, the Admiral will restore the city. And everyone who died there.

Private

[hellofist]

[Tim's smile might be small, but Cass' is nearly big enough to split her face in two. Brenda and Zero, they can come back. The whole city can, because of Dick. And now she can't really contain how happy she is.

She throws herself at Tim, arms wrapping around his neck and it's almost enough to knock him over backwards if he doesn't react in time.]

Good!

Private

[peektuttut]

Oof. [He grunts as she slams back into him, and they almost tip over before he manages to straighten again, arms wrapped around her middle. It's hard not to smile, though, seeing that happiness on his face. Well, hard not to smile more, so he does.]

Yeah, that's what I said. [But some concern flickers across his face, and the smile fades a little again.] What are you here for?

Private

[hellofist]

[Oh. That's a little more serious. She sets her chin on Tim's shoulder as she thinks of how to say it, but no matter what, she's going to sound like a coward.]

Wasn't ready to... face Shiva again. Came here instead. To learn and... help.

Private

[peektuttut]

[Shiva. He has his own history with her, and most of it isn't pleasant. The last time they met, she broke a bunch of his ribs, dislocated his shoulder.

But he got her, in the end. He'd been good enough. (Like Batman.)

Squeezing Cass a little tighter, Tim nodded.] It's okay. Time won't pass, there. You can take all the time you need.

Private

[hellofist]

[He's lucky, then. Shiva killed her. Twice.

And she's just learned she likes squeezes to be part of her hugs. Her face burrows into Tim's shoulder a little bit more.]

Good. Will get stronger. She won't know... what hit her.

Private

[peektuttut]

[Oh he does not doubt the luck. :c He smiles a little, glad she can't see it, because he's sure it isn't completely happy. There's still so much about Cass' time away that he doesn't know about. Things that they just haven't talked about, at home, things he doesn't even know how to ask.

He isn't even sure he wants to know, really, because the guilt of not looking for her is pretty thick.]

That's the best way. Surprising her.