Tenth Unused Utility Belt | Video

[hellofist]

People keep showing up, with memories... that don't match up. Happening a lot, lately. Guess it happens... all the time, but... seems like more, now.

[Cass stops a second, not looking into the feed but at something past the comm, jaw clenching and relaxing as she thinks.]

Know I did... something. Or... something happened, to me. Made me... someone people don't like? Or are scared of. Don't know.

[It's a little terrifying, to talk to Tim and see him be relieved she's not whatever she becomes in his future.]

I guess, want advice. Want to know... if you did something... bad, or wrong, would you... want to know? Want someone... to tell you, so you could stop? Or just... let it happen, hope you... do right things?

Comments

private;

[ichoosefight]

Only if there was a way to stop it.

[ She has thought about this. Extensively. ]

Private.

[an_abomination]

I think...you have to do what's right for you. From what I can tell, you guys all give so much. Too much at times. I get that you want to protect others, but you're all people, too. You deserve some happiness.

[youwillgotohell]

Yes. [She has no reason to say no, but she doesn't know why Cass wants to see her, either. Friendship is confusing okay]

[Private]

[wedonot]

Then I'd want to know. I don't believe the future's written in stone, and I'd rather try to avoid going down that path if I can. Even if it doesn't work, you can at least say you did everything you could.

[burnmythoughts]

...I saw the future once. Or - one future.

There was - the Professor called it a nexus point. Some of us got sucked into...different times, alternate realities.

Re: Private

[love_slave]

Why don't you trust yourself?

[ Video ]

[hellofist]

Not gonna quit. Too much... I want to do.

[It feels good, it helps to see how she feels about all of this reflected in him. She supposes that only makes sense when it seems like they're the same person half the time.]

So, you wouldn't? Want to know, I mean.

private;

[hellofist]

[And that makes it sound like there is no way to stop it, that it's something unavoidable and this entire like of questioning, everything everyone else is saying, it's all pointless.

It leaves her feeling a little hopeless.]

Wouldn't know, though. Couldn't. Would have... to ask.

[ Video ]

[surfaceshine]

[That part had been mainly a joke, except for how it wasn't at all; he'd seen Sam trying to give up on him before they even got going too many times. He saw Buffy give up. He'd watched John giving up his entire life.

He doesn't know how much more quitting he can take.]

...I didn't. At first. I was pretty pissed off.

But now I know what to watch for. I know how to get around it, and I'm gonna.

private;

[ichoosefight]

Well hopefully somebody respects your autonomy enough to help you figure it out.

[ Turning darkside is not the same as getting hit by a bus or something ]

I don't really know all the details.

[hellofist]

[Very little of that actually sounds good.]

What happened?

Private.

[hellofist]

Haven't been happy... in a long time. Seems like, just more sadness coming. Maybe knowing, getting ready... would be good.

[hellofist]

[That's just because your friendships lately haven't been very good ones. Cass says goodbye and turns her comm off and it's not long before she's knocking on Morgana's door, ready to hug.

She's known for the longest time Morgana needed friendship, someone to care about her, but it seems even more necessary now, after this conversation.]

[Private]

[hellofist]

[For a few long moments, she just watches him. They don't know each other well, hardly at all, but almost everyone she knows trusts him. Or did, before they didn't trust anyone. They trusted him completely and there's nothing in him that says she shouldn't too.]

That might... be worse. Knowing, fighting, and... everything goes wrong, anyway.

Private

[hellofist]

Killed once already. They say... first one's hardest, easier after that. What if... that's true?

[youwillgotohell]

[She's confused Cass, wasn't this post about your feelings. At the knock, she rises from her seat and opens the door, stepping aside so that Cassandra can come in. But she's still curious, because she doesn't know why Cassandra felt the need to come over. Or rather, she doesn't know what she could possibly do for Cassandra to make her want to come.]

[ Video ]

[hellofist]

[They're both tired, but the only option is to just keep going. It's a little terrifying, being this worn down already and still having so far to go, being deprived of one of the best coping mechanisms she'd had, but Dean is still here. So is Barbara and Steph and somehow, she can manage all this so long as they stay right where they are.]

What's gonna happen? What will... you do?

private; audio

[theonlyresponse]

Yes.

If there was a way to stop it. [Years ago he'd have wanted to know about killing the Joker. Made someone stop him.] But sometimes you can't.

[Private]

[wedonot]

I'd still rather try. [His voice sounds heavier, and while a quiet laugh had preceded the statement, there's no humor in it. It's more sad than anything else, not quite defeated, but definitely coming from someone who's had a lot of time and reason to think on this issue.]

private;

[hellofist]

That's okay. Still don't... want to know. I think.

[And if or when she does want to know, she'd want all of the details. She would want to know every little thing because from what she's seen, her future isn't something she would want for herself at all.]

[hellofist]

[It was, but Cassandra constantly puts other people's feelings, their well-being, ahead of her own. It's easier to ignore her own issues and try to comfort other people. She comes in, but promptly gives Morgana a hug, chin resting on her shoulder lightly.]

I'm sorry. I wish... you were happy.

[youwillgotohell]

[Oh. That - oh. It almost startles her, but her hands come up automatically to settle against Cassandra's back. The confusion is on her face, though Cass can't see it, and she takes a breath to ask what this is about when Cass speaks.

And oh. What does she say to that? She doesn't know, so she returns the hug, just for a moment or two, before pulling back.]

Sorry for what?

private; video

[hellofist]

[She switches to video, hopeful he'll follow suit. She can understand audio, but it's difficult and reading him is so much easier.]

So then... you'd know, but couldn't change. Would that... really be better?

Private

[love_slave]

I told you about Kai, didn't I?

He's made to kill. But he doesn't want to. He's never wanted to. He's killed many, but it's never gotten easier. He was used for it. His body was redesigned for it.

I don't think you want to kill any more than Kai would.

private; video

[theonlyresponse]

[There's a pause, and then he does. He's been moody and he lacks sleep. Still, he's not hostile, just pensive.] There's some things I'm not sure I'd want to change. [Beat.] That's not what's happening in your case, is it?