Tenth Unused Utility Belt | Video

[hellofist]

People keep showing up, with memories... that don't match up. Happening a lot, lately. Guess it happens... all the time, but... seems like more, now.

[Cass stops a second, not looking into the feed but at something past the comm, jaw clenching and relaxing as she thinks.]

Know I did... something. Or... something happened, to me. Made me... someone people don't like? Or are scared of. Don't know.

[It's a little terrifying, to talk to Tim and see him be relieved she's not whatever she becomes in his future.]

I guess, want advice. Want to know... if you did something... bad, or wrong, would you... want to know? Want someone... to tell you, so you could stop? Or just... let it happen, hope you... do right things?

Comments

[youwillgotohell]

[She sobbed at Charles for telling her the same not too long ago, and she is not ready for another go at that kind of emotional breakdown. And not with Cassandra; Morgana likes her, but it's still hard for her to trust people, or let them in.

So she nods, and goes to the set, pouring a cup for Cassandra; she already has one.]

Here. Did you decide?

[hellofist]

[Cass curls her fingers around the cup and holds on, letting the warmth from it seep into her.]

I think... I kill people. Swore I'd never... do that, ever again.

[youwillgotohell]

Death is part of life. [She picks up her own cup, sipping and nonchalant. How many deaths are on her hands? She doesn't know. She doesn't really care. That's war.]

Knowing for certain won't be better.

[hellofist]

No. It won't. Will only make me... worry, forever.

[And she hates that idea. She doesn't want to spend the rest of her life waiting and watching for the signs of what she'll do, dreading each day because it might be the one where everything goes wrong.]

Spent entire childhood, becoming something... bad. Made into a killer. Don't want that. Want to do good things.

[youwillgotohell]

I thought you did do good things. [The fighting at home, the saving people - that's what Cassandra said she did. And Morgana has a difficult time seeing her as a killer. She gestures to the table and its chairs, taking her seat, back to the fireplace.]

[hellofist]

Yes. Try to. [She scoots one of the chairs so it's closer to Morgana's and sits.] Want to keep doing good things. I just... don't think I did. The... future me.

I won't do... what she did.

[youwillgotohell]

[Morgana glances at the chair when Cass movies it closer, but she doesn't move away. She lifts her tea, and leans forward with her elbows on the table because fuck etiquette when you live in the woods and a prison ship.]

Easy enough to say. [But that was...harsher than she meant to be.] The future isn't easy to change. Maybe you'll have your reasons.

[hellofist]

[It might be harsh, but that doesn't make it any less true. Cass just nods.]

Maybe. But... don't like feeling, can't change things. That it's... set in stone, doesn't matter... what I do. Want to believe, my choices matter.

What's the point, if... they don't?

[youwillgotohell]

I don't know. [It's the only honest answer she can give about the future. She dreams, and rails against what will come, and it comes anyway. That's how it's been, her whole life; what she sees passes, and either seeing it causes her to act so that it will happen, or it will happen anyway.

Dwelling on it has never been pleasant.]

Maybe your choices do matter. [But she isn't certain how much she believes that.]

[hellofist]

[It's enough that she says it at all. She wishes more people saw this side of Morgana, the part that makes tea and makes her feel better, the part that does still care about people. It doesn't seem fair that more people can't feel what it's like to be Morgana's friend.

Cass smiles at her, a little surprised when it sticks.]

Thank you, Morgana.

[youwillgotohell]

[She doesn't entirely understand why Cassandra thanks her - what has she done to help, what has she done to warrant it? - but she returns the smile in miniature.]

You're welcome. [A beat.] I'm sorry you glimpsed your future. No one should.

[hellofist]

[When you go as long as Cass has with no support, even the smallest amount means something. It means even more when it hasn't been in the other person's nature to care the way Morgana is starting to again. Cass can't know if it will extend to anyone else, or even if it will stick, but it makes her feel good now.]

No. Makes things... matter less. Mean less. But... done, now. Can only move forward. [She gives Morgana another smile.] Have tea parties, to help.

[youwillgotohell]

[Man there is a reason they have hit it off, isn't there? She smirks a little when Cass calls this a tea party, though.]

Not much of a party, is it?

[hellofist]

[Just a little bit. It's also the reason Cass will always be in Morgana's corner.]

Wouldn't know. Only been to two.

[youwillgotohell]

[Her eyebrows jolt upward.] That ought to change. [Because once upon a time she loved a good feast.]

[hellofist]

Guess that means... you'll have to throw one.

[Because Cass wants to always see Morgana looking happy.]

[youwillgotohell]

I suppose it does. [Though she's not sure at all that she's up for that challenge. it wouldn't be too difficult, but it still seems like a big undertaking. ain't no party like a Camelot party]

[hellofist]

Is it a party... if just us? Does that count?

[youwillgotohell]

I don't think so. [Which makes it a shame that the people Cass is friends with are people Morgana doesn't want to party with. :c]

[hellofist]

Better make up... new word for it, then.

[They don't need other people anyway, just them is fun for Cass.]