I am. I know one when I see it, and I see it in the mirror every day. I don't know if I can stop, or if I can change. Sometimes there's no choice, I just don't know when those times will be, but I can't risk a rising body count because of some false hope. I don't believe in hope any more. I want to, but I don't.
I don't mind that it kills me. I don't really care that it did until I met all of you. Nobody at home spent time around me, so I didn't realise I was hurting more than just myself. I want to stop because I don't want to hurt the people I love, but that's something I always do regardless of the situation. It's who I am.
I do love you. I thought you judged me for not being him when I first met you, but I realise now that you don't. You just wanted me to accept that you cared. I'm sorry it took me so long to work that out. I'm so sorry.
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1/2/13 19:41 (UTC)I don't mind that it kills me. I don't really care that it did until I met all of you. Nobody at home spent time around me, so I didn't realise I was hurting more than just myself. I want to stop because I don't want to hurt the people I love, but that's something I always do regardless of the situation. It's who I am.
I do love you. I thought you judged me for not being him when I first met you, but I realise now that you don't. You just wanted me to accept that you cared. I'm sorry it took me so long to work that out. I'm so sorry.