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hellofist[Open Spam]
[Cass inhabiting the CTS isn't a new Barge occurrence, but it's not typical for her to go in looking upset and come out still... really looking upset. But here she is, sitting on the floor outside the CTS to catch her breath and wait for her legs to start working again because it's been a few hours now of nothing but punching and kicking and pushing herself so she wouldn't feel anything, but it's not really doing the job this time around.
So yeah, she's kind of brooding outside the CTS like any good Bat does after an upsetting day.]
[Private text to Dean]
Out.
[Spam for Merlin]
[She goes back into the CTS after her break, but it's still not enough. In the end she's just on her knees punching the floor until her hands are bleeding and that helps, finally. Only took her hours to get there. Finally she leaves the CTS and makes her way back home to wait for Merlin. He can fix her, her hands and her heart.
It's a bit surprising, though, that she runs into him in the hallway, him approaching the door from the other direction. Even after everything, she's able to smile when she sees him.]
Was just... gonna find you. Hi.
[Cass inhabiting the CTS isn't a new Barge occurrence, but it's not typical for her to go in looking upset and come out still... really looking upset. But here she is, sitting on the floor outside the CTS to catch her breath and wait for her legs to start working again because it's been a few hours now of nothing but punching and kicking and pushing herself so she wouldn't feel anything, but it's not really doing the job this time around.
So yeah, she's kind of brooding outside the CTS like any good Bat does after an upsetting day.]
[Private text to Dean]
Out.
[Spam for Merlin]
[She goes back into the CTS after her break, but it's still not enough. In the end she's just on her knees punching the floor until her hands are bleeding and that helps, finally. Only took her hours to get there. Finally she leaves the CTS and makes her way back home to wait for Merlin. He can fix her, her hands and her heart.
It's a bit surprising, though, that she runs into him in the hallway, him approaching the door from the other direction. Even after everything, she's able to smile when she sees him.]
Was just... gonna find you. Hi.
Tags:
Spam
4/6/13 22:21 (UTC)[SPAM]
4/6/13 22:22 (UTC)Release from what?
Spam
4/6/13 22:43 (UTC)She can't dwell on that though, it will only serve to break her down more and she doesn't want to be broken. Slowly the trembling subsides and she leans back a little, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.]
I love you.
[ Private : Video ]
4/6/13 22:57 (UTC)[She'll have to track him, she decides. She needs to thank him for protecting Dean. A darker part of her wants to thank him for hurting Cain.
He shouldn't die, Dean says. Is that true, though? If it will stop him from hurting other people like he's hurt Dean, like he's hurt her, would it really be that bad?
She misses Jason, suddenly. That's probably not a good sign.]
Stop apologizing. It's my fault. If I hadn't...
[But she had to. She had to stop him from pretending because it made her sick the way he used her to pretend to be someone good, something nice. Flour on his face and a loving father when there was blood on his hands, her blood on his hands, was wrong. She isn't sorry she spoke out, but she is sorry Dean paid the price.]
Spam
4/6/13 23:03 (UTC)[But she'll do it again, she knows she will. She can't stop, will never truly give up on him. And Stephanie understands that, so Cass lifts her hand to touch her cheek softly, thumb rubbing and absent circle against Steph's cheekbone.]
Thank you. For finding me.
[ Private : Video ]
4/6/13 23:04 (UTC)[Abruptly, the anger that had mostly drained away is back, his voice firm and harsher than he means it to be through his abused throat, but no weaker for any of that. He'll take a hundred beatings, he'll take a dozen death tolls, if it keeps her from ever really thinking that and now he sits forward slightly on the side of the infirmary bed where he's waiting to be discharged.]
None of this is your fault. Every choice he ever made, from the moment you were born to that bullshit stunt he pulled in the kitchens, to what he decided to do to me, to what he decides to do tomorrow, all of it, all of it is on him. You hear me? I don't ever wanna hear you blaming yourself because he decides to be a shitheel and a bully. He did this. Not you.
You hear me, Cass? [It's important to him that she hears him, that she believes him. He can never convince himself, after all. He has to convince her.]
[SPAM]
4/6/13 23:07 (UTC)Feeling.
Spam
4/6/13 23:33 (UTC)You made it pretty easy.
Spam
5/6/13 00:51 (UTC)[He knows he doesn't have to say it, but he likes to. There have been too many people now who...well, he didn't get the chance.
He kisses her forehead and lets go of her so he can reach up, gently wiping the wetness off her cheeks with his thumbs.]
Can I make you some tea?
[SPAM]
5/6/13 01:19 (UTC)[She would almost feel proud, except vindication seems more appropriate, considering.]
spam;
5/6/13 02:06 (UTC)His voice is very soft for someone his size.]
It's a kick and a half. But you know, it's not the wild therapeutic ride I thought it'd be.
Is it everything you thought it'd be?
Spam
5/6/13 03:36 (UTC)He doesn't move to sit down or encroach on her space, but gestures to the ground next to her, obviously asking permission to sit down next to her.]
Would you mind some company?
Spam
5/6/13 03:40 (UTC)You okay?
spam
5/6/13 04:45 (UTC)He still finds his way up to the deck anyway, and comes across Cass.]
Hey.
Spam
5/6/13 07:35 (UTC)She nods, holding his hand against her cheek to soak this in a little bit more before she has to let him put distance between them. He'll need both hands to make the tea, after all.]
Would love tea.
spam;
5/6/13 07:52 (UTC)[She knows other people think of the wardens that way, people who are here to do a job and get their payment and leave, but Cass doesn't want to leave. She'd stay forever if she could.]
spam;
5/6/13 09:31 (UTC)[He asks this because of the way she speaks, the little pauses between words, and the way she's sitting, hugging her knees. He slides down, resting one knee up.]
This place reminds me of a book I read once, the whole theme was about belonging. But it seems like everyone here is just looking at the exits, waiting to get out, not understanding what they're ignoring. [It makes him sad, leaves him feeling pity for them.]
[Spam]
5/6/13 12:00 (UTC)He glances over at her and offers a faint smile.] So uh, 'sup?
(no subject)
5/6/13 23:45 (UTC)It's all right. [It's a soft murmur, as Barbara strokes her hair.] It'll be all right.
[ Private : Video ]
6/6/13 01:23 (UTC)Cain makes his own choices, yes. But she provided the push to make him decide violence was the way to respond to Dean. It was inevitable that they would clash, there's too much of Dean's own father in David Cain for them to avoid a confrontation at some point.
Cass being the catalyst for them fighting over how to be a man, how to be a parent? It's almost nauseating how unavoidable that is.]
Hear you.
Spam
6/6/13 01:28 (UTC)Did... work, this time. Fix this. That's never happened.
[SPAM]
6/6/13 01:30 (UTC)Yes. Attempt is... key word, there.
[SPAM]
6/6/13 01:40 (UTC)Unsurprising. Organic Beings have always been flawed in that sense. It is impossible for them to simply turn off such functions, no matter how much it hinders them. No matter how much pain the resulting emotions cause.
[Experience? No, of course not.]
Spam
6/6/13 01:58 (UTC)[It is good, knowing other people are okay. That the people she cares about aren't broken after their stay in that strange, very unpleasant town.
His offer of company isn't surprings, and she could certainly use it. Better to talk than let herself get caught up in dark thoughts.]
Sure. Sure you want... to sit on floor, though? Can go somewhere else.
[For a reason she's not really sure of, it just seems kind of wrong to make Charles sit on the floor.]
Spam
6/6/13 02:09 (UTC)[She sighs, leaning her head back against the wall.]
My father... is on Barge. Inmate. [That should at least give him a basic idea of how un-good this whole thing is.] Try to avoid him, but... couldn't, today.