hellofist. Eleventh Unused Utility Belt

Um. I'm awake, now.

[Have a wave and half a smile, Barge.]

Didn't mean... to worry anyone. Sorry. I'm okay, though. I know... things have changed. Birthday passed. Was going to be... first one. Never knew it, growing up. Guess weapons... weren't allowed them. Merlin said, can have party. Don't know how, though. Could use tips.

Want to see everyone. Can meet somewhere, or you... come to Merlin's room. Staying here now, moved stuff already. It's... safer, this way. For my heart.

[That doesn't make a lot of sense out of context though, does it? She sighs and her smile fades, dissolves into a look that's somewhere between uncomfortable and just sad.]

There's a man here, David Cain. My father.

[She's truthful almost all of the time anyway, but this is when it becomes clear she's affected by this flood.]

Don't kill him. He's not... worth your time. Deserves a chance. Bad father, bad man, deserves to die, maybe should die, but... deserves his chance, too. Just leave him alone. Don't want people... getting hurt. Love you all too much.

That's... guess that's all.

Private to Bruce Wayne
Don't anymore, okay? Once is enough.

I love you.

Private to David Cain
Promise still stands. You kill anyone, I kill you.

... Hope this place... works, for you.

Spam for Dean and Barbara, separately
[Some people deserve to see her in person without waiting so she goes to them first, knocks and knocks and knocks on their doors until they open up, let her in. Once they do, they'll have an armful of Cass because there's no stopping her once she sees those faces again.]

Tags:

Flat. Top-Level Comments Only

Posted by

ichoosefight

I want that for you too. I really hope you don't decide to stay here forever.

Posted by

hellofist

[Welp, so much for that moment. Cass pulls back and frowns at Steph.]

Happy here, most of time. Why did... you do that? Bring that back?

Posted by

ichoosefight

I can't help it. [ She flushes in her perfectly candid distress. ] It's the flood. I'm just saying everything that crosses my mind. I even started describing the details of my love life to Doyle.

Posted by

hellofist

Not- that why. Why can't you... just accept it? Don't want Gotham, don't want dying, don't want- whatever I do.

You think... what I want, doesn't count? Not- what you want, for me? [Now that she's started, she can't seem to stop.] Want me to... come back with you? Watch you, happy with Kon, married, children, while I'm... alone? Is that better? Better to be sad there, or dead in Gotham? That's better... than helping people here?

Posted by

ichoosefight

[ Steph blinks up at Cass in surprise for a moment. The hurt and sadness are clear on her face as well as the rest of her. ]

I just don't want to lose you. I want to share my happiness and my family with you. I want you to meet my future kids. I want us both to survive long enough to become cranky old ladies together. I don't want to go home and find you gone and never see you again.

[ She chews her lip, looks down at the ground, concedes. ]

But you're right, I'm selfish. My idea of what the future should look like isn't more important than your happiness. If staying here forever will really make you happy then that's what you should do no matter how I feel about it. I have a hard time believing that's really the case, but I'll miss you either way.

Posted by

hellofist

That will never happen. Not... for me.

[The idea of getting old at all is completely new to Cass. People like her, they don't do that. She can't imagine a reality where she would be like Steph, hanging up her costume for the chance to have a family, to have a civilian life.

She'd rather die. Steph started as a normal person, but Cass? Bruce? The cowl is all they are. It's all they know how to be, the only way they know how to live. You don't just put that away.]

Your future is... your future. You picked it, when you... let us think you died. Want you in my life, Steph, but... no right, to judge me. None. Used to think... you knew me, understood. You did, as Spoiler. But now?

[She shakes her head.]

Strangers do better. Kon does. Dean. It's like... you want me on leash. A pet, to follow you. Do what... you want.

Posted by

ichoosefight

[ Steph looks up, searching Cass' eyes for some sign of where things went wrong. ]

I never meant to- I didn't choose anything, Cass, and I definitely didn't choose my future when I left, if anything I chose to give up my future. I don't know what's happened to us but I hate it and now I'm going to cry and maybe I should just go.

Posted by

hellofist

What happened was, you've had years. Years, to change from... Spoiler, to Batgirl. To grow up, move past me. I'm still me. Haven't changed. You want... something I'm not.

[And she says she should go, but it feels more like Steph running away. Cass frowns, but just nods. If Steph wants to run, leave things like this, it's her choice.]

Posted by

ichoosefight

I want my best friend. [ She rubs at her eyes, contemplates pushing the chair back and getting to her feet. If she leaves now, it might be too late to fix this. ] I don't know what to do, Cass. The person I used to be made so many mistakes. I got people killed, hundreds of people. I can't go back to who I was before.

Posted by

hellofist

Not asking you to. Just asking, don't make me... come forward so fast. Let me catch up... on own time. In own way.

Posted by

ichoosefight

I will, I promise I will. I never meant to push you, Cass. I'm so sorry.

Posted by

hellofist

[With a sigh, Cass leans in to hug Steph again.]

Stop apologizing. Can't stay mad... when it's you.

Posted by

ichoosefight

No promises there. [ Steph gives her a big squeeze, clinging almost desperately. She was so scared she was going to lose Cass just now. ]

I really will do better. But you have to tell me when I'm doing something wrong, okay?

Posted by

hellofist

[For better or worse, Cass will never be able to cut this connection. She loves Steph too much, she means too much to ever let her go. She strokes Steph's hair in an attempt to calm her down.]

Will. And promise... you'll be friendly, with Merlin? Know it might be... hard, but try? He's important, just like you.

Posted by

ichoosefight

Of course, I promise. We're not close or anything but we get along. [ She can't help but smile at the way Cass describes him. Important. Like her. ]

I'm glad you have someone here.

Posted by

hellofist

We're not, um... he didn't remember me. So. Not boyfriend, just... Merlin.

But... I'm glad too.

Posted by

ichoosefight

I wasn't sure. I talked to him a little when he got back but it seemed like he remembered a lot since then. I'm sorry. But I'll still be nice. Are you guys still friends?

Posted by

hellofist

He watched over me, while I slept. Kept me safe here. Letting me stay. What do... you think?

Posted by

ichoosefight

I think you're maybe a little closer than friends, but I'm glad you two are okay. People losing memories is one of the things that really scares me about this place. Of course it figures he'd still like you, I don't see how anyone could not.

Posted by

hellofist

Maybe. Still love him. Boyfriend never... felt right, anyway. He was more, still is. Just never... learned bigger word, for boyfriend. Was gonna ask Barbara.

[Can she just ignore the rest of that? It's making her blush and she has no idea how to respond to it.]

Posted by

ichoosefight

Maybe I can help. [ She loosens her hold enough to give Cass some room to breathe. She can't just leave Cass lost when it comes to romance. ] Bigger how?

Posted by

hellofist

[That shouldn't be so hard to answer, but it really is. Cass frowns while she tries to think of the right words, the best way to explain herself.]

Being with him... it makes everything okay. His smile makes me smile. He knows... what it feels like, having power that... no one else does. The burden, the danger inside you. Being different, with no way... to fix it.

Being scared... you'll lose everyone, if they find out. If they know... the things you can't help. Just feels right, being near him. Calling that... boyfriend doesn't seem right. Not enough.