Thirteenth Unused Utility Belt | Video

[hellofist]

[Private to the Admiral]
Um... hi? [Do you even do small talk with the Admiral when you have to ask him things? Does he even care if you're polite? Cass has no idea but hey, it can't hurt.] Need Loki to be... restricted. His strength, mostly. Make him... strong as average human. Please.

And, um. Thank you?

[Filtered from Loki]
[Now that that's dealt with, hello barge! Cass is hanging out in the CES today, sitting on a rock so she can get some sun. All that time in the infirmary left her feeling kind of stir crazy, so here she is.]

By now, will have seen... Loki's... whatever that was. Sorry, for him. Would be better if... he'd just bother me. No one else... should have to see that.

But, it's also good. What he wants, it's public. Everyone knows, wants to hurt me. But, he won't attack me. He'll hurt you. Everyone I love, everyone I care about, he'll hurt them.

So, restricted his strength. Which means, most of you? Stronger than him, now. Still, be careful. He's insane, if he wants to hurt, he'll find way. All I ask is... try not to kill him?

That's, um. That's all.

[She waves, then cuts the feed.]


[Private text to Merlin]
<3

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[takeyouapart]

[It's been a few days since Arthur's disappearance.

Merlin still feels hollow, and weak, but more than that he keenly feels the need to prove that he can move beyond his pain. Charles has said he's strong enough not to be ravaged and altered by his losses. That the inevitability of Arthur's return, whenever it happens, should be a means to keep him grounded in hope and not lost in despair.

It's almost too neat to be believed. It requires him to have more faith in himself than he does at present. But he can't just stop, and he can't get away from remembering Cass walking away through the rain either.

Able to see the path ahead with his magic, it's easy enough to find her. He stops a few paces from her rock, almost stumbling to a halt, and ducks his head.]

I know I - I make a hypocrite of myself by coming here without your leave. If you want me to go...

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[hellofist]

[She's done her best to give him space, but it hasn't been easy. It's painful, waiting until she knows he's asleep to go back home, but he asked for space. She's just glad he hasn't asked her to move her stuff back to her old room.

Seeing him now? It makes all the hardships with Loki seem less annoying, less frustrating. He came looking for her, so she can't help bright smile that won't seem to quit growing.]

Don't be silly, Merlin. Always want you around, never want you... to go away.

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[takeyouapart]

[It's a twitch of a smile, faltering and uncertain, but it's there as he comes to sit down nearby.]

I need to apologise. Again. There are things that I can't...that I don't know how to handle or what to even think of. And I keep hurting you because you keep close, because you care for me. I'm...shamed by that. I'm sorry.

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[hellofist]

[She scoots closer, to see the smile that's stealing its way onto his face just as much as to just be closer to him.]

What you've had, since you came back? It's been hard. It's been... it's been so much, piled all on you. You're used to- everything being your problem, yours to fix. Years of that, no memories... we were here, for you. It made sense, wanting to be alone.

[He needs to apologize, though, so she nods somberly and reaches for his hand.]

Forgive you. Million chances, remember?

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[takeyouapart]

I feel like I'm going to use them all up, the way I've been going.

[He says it as he takes her hand in both of his, and closes his eyes for a moment. Grounding.]

How are you feeling?

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[hellofist]

Nah, I kinda like you. Will give more, if you ask nice.

[For a moment she just watches him, eyes closed and his body going a little bit more tranquil. At his question, she sighs and shakes her head.]

Tired. Loki is... not easy. [That's such a huge understatement, but he's the biggest part of why she's tired right now.] I miss Tim. Miss everyone that's gone.

But, happy too. [She reaches out and puts her hand on his cheek.] You smiled.

Spam

[takeyouapart]

I did. And...

[He lets go of her hand so he can reach into his bag, producing a small vacuum flask.]

And I brought you tea. [He offers it to her.] I'm sorry about Loki.

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[hellofist]

[The tea makes her grin again and she takes the flask from him like it's something precious, because it is. Tea is always important, it always means more than just here, you look thirsty. She leans in to kiss his cheek, then opens the tea up and takes a drink.]

It's good. Thank you. [But of course she'll share, so she's handing it back to him after stealing one more quick sip.]

How about you? How do... you feel?

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[takeyouapart]

[He takes a small sip almost as a courtesy.]

I don't know. A little better, I think. I spoke with Charles about some things which have been...troubling me.

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[hellofist]

[In that case, she's going to have to find Charles and give him a giant hug if he's been helping.

She nods and turns toward him a little more, making it clear she's ready to listen and do her best to help if he's ready to talk to her about it, too.]

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[takeyouapart]

[In a while, maybe. More pressing matters at hand. He offers her the flask.]

...about Loki, I think you're being incredibly strong. I always knew you were, of course, but...I couldn't do what you're doing. I can't be calm and make sense of it, when people want to harm my friends. Every time I hear him speak to you, or of you, I just...

[He shakes his head.]

I could never be Warden to a man like him.

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[hellofist]

[She takes it, but just holds it between her hands, letting it ground her the way her hand grounded him.]

In my world, wearing a cowl... makes you a target. The people you love, they're always... in danger. Always something to lose, to be taken. But, the job is important. You learn, keep going. Do what you can... to protect them, but don't give up. Don't cut off.

That's what Loki wants. To cut me off, take from me. But I'm stronger. Now, he's weak. [She pauses and looks up at him, frowning a little.] Still be careful, though. He'll still try.

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[takeyouapart]

[Merlin smiles faintly, sadly, because he's the last person who needs telling about watching your loved ones live in constant peril.]

I'm not afraid of him. [He's honestly more scared of what he might do himself if he's provoked.] There is nothing he can do or say to me that will make the two of us less than what we are.

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[hellofist]

No. He can try, but it's nothing... I haven't heard, before. Well, most of the time. [Monster and killer are things she's used to. Swive-stain? That one's new.

She doesn't want to be sad though, not when she's with Merlin and Loki has been dealt with. Reaching for Merlin's hand, she squeezes it gently.]

And I know... you're fine, safe. But, will still worry. Can't have you... punching him, every time he's gross. Might break hand. I like your hands.

Spam

[takeyouapart]

[That gets a half-laugh out of him.]

I'm flattered, my lady, but I don't think I could punch hard enough to break anything.

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[hellofist]

Well, can fix that. Here.

[She sets the tea aside for now and lifts his hand up, forming it into a fist before tapping his knuckles lightly.] This is part... you want to hit with. Keep thumb on outside, wrist straight. Okay?

[And then she lets go and holds her hand up.]

Hand is target. Try it.

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[takeyouapart]

[He just gives her a look.]

I...really don't want to punch you, Cass.

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[hellofist]

[And she gives him one right back.]

It's just my hand. Won't hurt.

Spam

[takeyouapart]

[He sighs, then gives her hand a baby-weak punch that is really more about demonstrating his unwillingness to hit her even with permission and even if it won't hurt.]

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[hellofist]

[She has to bite her lip to keep from laughing, mostly because that's one of the cutest things she's ever seen. She keeps his hand after the punch, unfolding his fingers so she can link their hands together.]

Okay, no more punching. Can do something else. Busy, today?

[Because she knows he wanted space, if this was just to check in she doesn't want to crowd him all over again. Now he has an easy way to excuse himself if he wants to, but it had seemed like there was something else, something more than just an apology and Loki's unpleasant self that was on his mind.]

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[takeyouapart]

Not really. I have an Infirmary shift but it's not for another few hours.

[He's allotted himself as much time as he can. Dr Banner has an Inmate, after all, so it only seems fair.]

Are you?

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[hellofist]

Nope. Was gonna try... to find job, for Loki, but...

[It's kind of a horrible idea to stick him around other people when his first instinct would probably be to murder them all and less to actually do good work, right? Right.]

We could... [How had he put it, when he asked her on a date in London?] Go out, together.

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[takeyouapart]

[He doesn't quite catch the nuance of that remark.]

We're already out together, Cass. Or - as out as we're getting. [He makes a generous 'look at all this empty space' gesture with one arm.] See? Out.

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[hellofist]

[Instead of getting embarrassed because she didn't frame it the right way, Cass just smiles. He's being sarcastic again, she kind of missed that.]

Out like date.

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[takeyouapart]

[He's really not being that sarcastic and when she says 'date', he tenses a little. It's a bit of a loaded word and the uncertain look on his face makes it clear that he doesn't want to commit to anything that might be attached to it.]

I...I think this is as out together as we should be.